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Marriage and the Power of Memory

For Better or Worse, Look at Those Albums!

I recently read a blog post about the current “Love Your Spouse Challenge,” on Facebook where people post happy pictures of their marriage for seven days. The author of the blog thought it was dishonest and promoted the “everything’s perfect” image of Social Media.  She then went on to post a series of “realistic” photos of married life, which were, ironically, staged. 

There is nothing wrong with sharing your happy marriage moments on Social Media. Personally, I have enjoyed seeing photos of my friends from years past in different fashions, smiling from ear to ear on the back of a golf cart on the their wedding day or the one of a particularly silly friend and her husband posing like goofballs on the back of their car. Do I think that all of these people have perfect marriages? No. Do I have a perfect marriage? Heck no. Posting happy things on Social Media doesn’t mean you are trying to portray your life as all roses, it just means that’s what you’re focusing on, the good stuff.

The Blog Post got me thinking about something that I have found helpful in my marriage. When my husband and I have hit rough patches and our communication is waning, I like to go back and look at albums of us when we were dating, when we were Newlyweds, when our babies were born. These happy memories of us when we were young and giddy, with butterflies in our tummies, the moments of profound love, like when our son and daughter were born, remind me that while we are having a “moment” of frustration, we have many, many “moments” of beautiful behind us…and ahead of us. For me, it gives me pause. I usually cry, because, well, I always cry, and then I realize that even if one brushstroke in the painting is off, it doesn’t disqualify it from being a masterpiece, and that’s what we are working toward. Looking at old photos helps get me back on track to creating our own perfectly imperfect masterpiece.

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The beginning. Celebrating my Grandparent's 50th Anniversary, 2001.

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Silly on our Wedding Day, 2003.

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Wandering somewhere in GA, 2008.